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So... What Is Regulation?


What Is Regulation?


When we talk about “regulation” — especially in educational, psychological, or neurodivergent contexts — we’re usually talking about self-regulation: the ability to understand and manage emotions, behaviour, and body responses in different situations.


It’s what helps us:


  • Stay calm during stressful moments 😮‍💨

  • Focus and engage in learning or work 🧑‍💻

  • Pause before reacting when emotions run high 🔄

  • Return to a steady state after excitement or upset 🌈


Self-regulation is part of everyday life, but it isn’t automatic — and it doesn’t come easily to everyone, especially those with neurodivergent profiles or specific learning difficulties (SpLDs).



Regulation Across the Ages


👶 In Early Childhood:

  • Tantrums, impulsivity, or difficulty calming down

  • Needing help to shift attention or follow routines

  • Finding transitions hard ⏳


🧒 In Primary Years:

  • Struggling with turn-taking or waiting

  • Becoming easily overwhelmed in noisy or busy environments 🏫

  • Needing frequent movement, sensory input, or breaks


🧑‍🎓 In Adolescence:

  • Heightened emotional responses due to hormonal and cognitive changes

  • Withdrawing or shutting down under pressure

  • Difficulty managing workload or friendships ⌛


👩‍💼 In Adults:

  • Mental fatigue or burnout from masking or over-regulating

  • Difficulty switching off or winding down 💤

  • Finding it hard to stay emotionally ‘steady’ under stress



🔄 Co-Regulation Comes First


Self-regulation doesn't just develop on its own. It grows from co-regulation — the supportive presence of someone else who helps a person manage their emotions and reactions.


This might look like:


  • A parent comforting a child after a meltdown 💗

  • A teacher giving a student time and space to regroup

  • A workplace mentor helping with stressful situations


Over time, co-regulation helps the brain learn how to self-regulate. Without it, many people — regardless of age — struggle to develop those internal tools.



What Can Dysregulation Look Like?


Not everyone expresses dysregulation in the same way. It can be loud or quiet, fast or slow, external or internal. It might show up as:


  • Explosive outbursts or tears 😤

  • Withdrawing completely 🫥

  • Difficulty getting started or staying focused

  • Physical signs like stomach aches, headaches, or pacing

  • Fidgeting, talking rapidly, or zoning out


Recognising dysregulation is the first step to supporting it — especially in learners or professionals who have become experts at masking their inner stress.



Supporting Regulation at Any Stage


Everyone benefits from support with regulation. Here are some tools that help across age groups:


🔉 Sensory Supports

  • Noise-cancelling headphones

  • Fidget tools or movement breaks

  • Adjusting lighting or seating


🧘 Calm-Down Strategies

  • Breathing exercises

  • Visual supports like emotion cards

  • Access to quiet spaces


📅 Structure & Predictability

  • Visual timetables or checklists

  • Clear transitions and routines

  • Pre-warnings for changes


🤝 Emotional Support

  • Validation and listening

  • Adults modelling emotional expression

  • Encouraging breaks and self-awareness



Regulation in Schools, Homes & Workplaces


Whether it’s a pupil melting down after lunch, a teenager avoiding homework, or an adult feeling overwhelmed in a busy office — regulation matters everywhere 🌍.


Understanding regulation helps:


  • Create inclusive classrooms that meet diverse needs

  • Support neurodivergent learners and employees

  • Reduce anxiety and promote resilience

  • Strengthen relationships and emotional well-being



Why It Matters


Self-regulation is a lifelong skill — one that can be nurtured, supported, and strengthened at any age. When we understand how regulation works (and when it breaks down), we can offer practical, compassionate strategies that truly help.


Because it’s not about “behaviour” — it’s about what’s going on underneath.

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